Spring 2024 Check-In: Embracing Intentional Living and Personal Growth

 

Is it time to check in?

Spring is here, 2024 is now one quarter down - three quarters to go. It’s a good time to check in with your annual intentions.

Everyone has different goals, and goals don’t have to be set to an annual time frame. When I was working for a large conference center at the height of Covid-19 we would set quarterly goals because it was much too difficult to plan for an entire year when change was the name of the game back then. I found that using a shorter time frame to achieve goals more manageable.

Of course, my boss had an annual goal that she expected me to achieve, but she also knew that the top line for sales was going to be hit or miss because of the uncertainty of the meetings industry, which we relied upon for revenue.

For me imagining what I could accomplish in three months was easier and more satisfying. I accomplished more because I didn’t allow nine months to trickle by until I began a big project. Procrastination happens.

Let’s break down how to manage goals-

·       Divide areas you are interested in developing into categories, for example, health, social, earning, and spiritual

·       List everything within each category you consider a priority within the time frame you have determined works for you

·       Revue and refine your list, look for duplicates, or items that don’t fit within your category and scrap them

·       Identify each action that needs to be taken within your list of items

·       Set a time frame for each action

Here’s an example of a single category, in this instance ‘social’-

·       Friends

·       Family

·       Partner

1.     Schedule time once or twice each month to hang out with Sarah and Margaret, Janice and Bob and Emily. Make sure to include a walk with Sarah and Margaret so they can get some activity. Bob likes food so make sure it’s a restaurant meal. Emily will enjoy time creating art.

2. Facetime with Anne at least once per month, go to coffee with the girls, and offer to babysit the grandkids at least once per month. Make sure you know the grandkid's performance and sports schedule so you can watch them grow.

3.     Make sure all meals shared at home are not interfered with by phones, plan hikes each week, and take time each afternoon to chat about fun stuff.

4.     Touch base with the kids weekly, and understand that they are super busy with their life; they may not always have time to connect. Make sure you do a small thing to help them like bake bread, provide cookie dough, or send a handwritten letter in the US mail.

Now that I have a list I can pair it down so it is manageable. I can identify priorities and create a schedule so I don’t allow months to go by without connecting with the most important people. This can easily happen as I am busy and time flies.

By using this simple method I can add calendar actions that satisfy my need to connect with the most important people and keep those relationships healthy. If I don’t add connections on my calendar, months can go by before I realize the lack of connection.

This is intention. I know myself, and I know that if I don’t schedule tasks I won’t do them. I am a person who thrives on routine.  What happens if I don’t meet the goals I set out for myself? Fortunately, because I set goals or intentions for a short timeframe, that is for three months at a time I can correct them easily. If I didn’t reach out to Emily for a play date of watercolor painting, tea, and chatting I can correct that action within the quarter. Goal achieved!

Often goals are set with limited information; after all we are plotting a course without a complete understanding of what will go wrong to lead us away from our path. This is natural and not to be lamented. Understanding that goals will have to adapt to the current circumstance is one way of building flexibility into your timeline.

Perhaps Emily doesn’t want to get together, or she is going to be out of town, or she prefers ceramics to watercolor painting. I must adjust my expectations; after all getting together to create art is only one component of a satisfying visit. If Emily would rather watch a movie or go to lunch that is fine as well. The point is hanging out with Emily, not creating art.

With that in mind, having intentions that are aligned with the root goal becomes important. Let’s say you normally like to hang out with your friend Marvin, and normally you go bowling together. This activity allows for great conversation and fun times. The next time you plan to get together Marvin tells you he wants to see a movie that his partner won’t see with him because she doesn’t like action films. You agree to see a movie because you like the time you spend with Marvin, but after you realize you didn’t have any conversation that was fun for you. Your intention to converse with Marvin didn’t work out. Next time you will know better, if Marvin suggests you see a film together you can tell him okay, but you want to grab a cup of coffee after, or you can say you don’t want to see a film so you can plan something else. Focusing on your intention will allow you to tailor an experience that works for you, and if Marvin decides he only wants to see films moving forward and it doesn’t work for you, you can determine how to manage your relationship moving forward. Perhaps you see Marvin once per quarter for a film and a cup of coffee, and that is sufficient. Or perhaps your relationship has run its course and you can see each other a couple of times each year.

Every intention has the opportunity to fail. Failure is a tool for learning, and becoming flexible with your expectations is magnificent. I used to think in black-and-white terms about goals and intentions; now as a mature person, I see with nuance more often.

Not everything is perfect, but often actions and experiences are good enough. If you are in a position to love your life, you are extremely fortunate, and having a less-than-perfect experience is okay. Next time you will know better and plot your course with what you have learned in mind.

Once you have categories, lists, and actions scheduled all you need to do is check in now and then to make sure you are where you want to be, or if where you hoped to be is no longer aligned with your intentions you can make the changes needed.

I want to make sure I’m living fully, and not marching through life on autopilot. It is easy to simply go through the motions in life without adjusting or focusing on your true aim. Intentional living means eating an apple with all your senses, riding a bike, and listening to the sound of the wheels as they roll across the pavement. Intentional living is delightful.